Break ups suck… there is no sugar coating to it, they just suck. They suck you dry of your tears, your energy, and your Ben and Jerry’s. For anyone who has gone through a break up, you understand. But, what if YOU were the one who broke up with your significant other? Does it make it easier? The answer is NO!
When you go through a break up you are mourning the loss of someone who held an important part in your life, for me my ex and I dated for a year and a half. So for a year and a half I had someone to cuddle, kiss, listen to my B.S, and just simply BE there… but then things changed. Little red flags kept popping up. He would say things at inappropriate times, drink too much, and was not a very motivated person. I never really noticed these things, but those around me sure did. My roommates began to get annoyed of the lack of boundaries, I would get stressed about his work because he would not be, and the cherry on top was when my closest sister/friend told me that she did not see him as my future husband. So why did all this matter? It was just me and him in the relationship….. Right?
For me, this persistence of those around me telling these things made me be more aware of what was actually happening. I realized that we were both taking each other for granted and I began to feel more like friends than lovers with him. He no longer gave me butterflies, gave me tingles in my happy places, nor was making me happy. This was very hard for me to realize cause I knew that when I ended it, I would need to also lose him as the friend I had known for a year and a half. But, it happened and now I’m sitting in a coffee shop with a latte I bought myself, at a table for one, and I could not be happier.
See, when I ended things I thought I had made the worst decision. I felt that maybe I lost out on the only love I would never know. My nights consisted of tear filled pillows, tossing in my sleep, and lots and lots of wine medication (the best medication if I may add). One day though something happened. I didn’t feel sad anymore.
From that day things changed for me. I broke myself down and wrote a list of what I loved about the relationship and things I did not for both me and for him. I unfollowed his Twitter and took him of Snapchat. My playlist changed from love songs to old school rap and to Beyoncé girl power songs… I was feeling more confident then I ever felt with him. The next step was to get him completely and utterly out of my brain in any romantic way, which the only way to do that is with time. So, I made a rule with my roommates that I was not allowed to have a BF till 2016, but I could date. The doors began to open, dinners were being made for me, and for the first time in a long time I realized that I was a catch. This breakup was not just a break up from my ex, but also a break up from the girl I was with him. So, hello new Genevieve I am excited to see that adventures we get into. 🙂